I pretty much just spent the last two days cleaning and organizing. Feels so good, especially during periods of transition in life - its very fitting. Out with the old, prepare for the new.
How can I lose myself in such a task and why do I love it so much? Would some think I am crazy for wanting to spend hours at a time lost in my basement? Doesn't matter. I love it.
My roommate moved out today. I helped her organize, clean and pack. As she struggled to separate the junk from her prized possessions - in I came to save the day. She leaves the bedroom (which at this point the floor is still not visible) to pack up the bathroom and upon her return she is elated to find her room almost entirely packed. It took me all of 15 minutes. She mentions how I should offer my special skills as a service...and all I can think is, that's sweet, but I don't friggin think so.
Don't get me wrong - it's great, I am good at it, but as a job... Never going to happen haha. Wouldn't that be a step in the wrong direction. But a sweet sense of gratitude.
Cleaning is meditation for me. Clearing out old stuff, junk, dirt, mess is refreshing and calming. My mind stills, slows, and I feel so peaceful just losing myself in my home as I cruise from room to room. There is no proper agenda nor do i have a goal in mind - I just clean.
Contrary to popular belief (my family's) I am not a hoarder. Okay, so I used to have A LOT of "collections", keychains, beanbag clowns, rocks/shells, coins, stamps, pogs (oh pogs...okay I admit I still have em...hmm...maybe time to put those bad boys up on Kijiji or eBay), cards, dice - you name it I was collecting it. Over the years I have learned to relinquish the need to "collect" for collecting sake - and have gradually given away most things.
Yes, I still keep some stuff - I will never give up my killer shot glass collection which is pushing almost 75 pieces or so at this point. But I have learned to let go. Not only learned, but I LOVE to get rid of things. I find myself just giving stuff away all the time. I feel lighter as a result. I don't really NEED all this STUFF. Travel affirms this realization (but I will save that for another post at another time).
That all being said...I do keep an amazing collection of dress up clothing, a library's worth of books, and a ridiculous amount of bags and purses. Hey, we all have our vices. I am okay with it. I use these things often - perhaps that could be the difference, I don't know. What I do know is that becoming attached is the reality most of us face.
Learning to let things go and non-attachment are essential for a peaceful way of life. Why do we feel the need to hold on to everything? Is it the memories? Is it the fear that once we let something go we will need it soon after and regret giving it away? Do we feel that we will just miss having it? Some of us feel that certain items hold a monetary value and it would be like throwing 10, 20 or 100 dollars down the drain.
BUT - what about the "energetic" value that "stuff" holds? Maybe we don't want to get rid of an old chair, it was with us during our university days, we remember moving it from house to house each year, people passing out on it at parties, or just the fact that we were proud that it was one of our first major furniture purchases.
Every time you go in your basement you think "ugh, that damn chair is always in the way, oh it is really tattered and ugly, I would never have that in any new home i own" - BUT you don't let it go. It continues to travel with you as you move into your first home - collects dust along the way - you throw out your back carrying it up from the basement and then down into the new basement. Dammit! That's a lot of stress and energy for an old shitty chair.
So why can't you give it up? What makes us hold onto things with such affection when in reality they are probably causing us more stress than good. Is that one moment recalling joyful memories (as we glance at the chair stuffed up against the wall in the laundry room while we fold our darks) really worth that high energetic stress value that the chair burdens us with?
Probably not.
If you MUST, take a picture of the chair or frame a picture that you took, back in the day, with your buddy passed out on the chair, hell, snip a section of material off the chair and save it if you wish. But - let it go!
Let go and feel lighter! Free the heavy feeling that "stuff" accumulates on our bodies and minds.
I am not a hoarder anymore. Well, I would have to say I probably never really quite made it to "hoarder" status (although I was close), but I had a hard time letting things go. I would move and actually accumulate stuff each time!
Not sure exactly when that shift happened for me - but I feel like a huge weight was lifted off of me when it did.
My girlfriend recently moved into her new condo. I was over for lunch yesterday and couldn't pride her enough on the fact that she didn't have any furniture - but a bed, dresser and small table for two (with chairs). She told me she doesn't even want a couch. Talk about liberation!
We don't need much - we just think we do. We don't need to hold onto things - we just think we do.
Do we talk ourselves into it? What is holding us back from letting go? Is this a pattern in our lives? Are we not capable of letting go of a thought in our minds, a bad relationship, the notion of always being right perhaps? A way of thinking that holds you back, an old shitty chair from the depths of our basement, a crazy accumulation of tupperware that continues to to grow? So much we create in our own minds.
These are all forms of attachment.
So I challenge you.
Ask yourself, what can I let go of right now?
Don't think - just do.
Feel lighter - let go. You have all that you need. Trust that.
Be - don't hoard. Clean - don't put it off. Minimalism...meditation...freedom.
So Awesome.
Love, Ashley.
