powerful beginnings.

Feeling the power of this new year ahead I reflect on the pieces of myself left behind. For the past few days I have made space to sit in stillness, to cry, to write, to honour a beautiful being.  This little lady endured much sadness and heartache, beauty and wonder; a collection of crazy memories of life's richness has brought me to now.  I am in awe of my life everyday. I have lived this past year with passion, strength, and absolutely no regret. Did the best I could with the tools that I had. There are most definitely pieces and people that at one time would have grasped with a hearty grip, now I support myself to release them to the universe with love and carry onwards on this journey. What's important will always land where it needs to be. Holy hell-fire it's been a wild ride.

The clock struck 12 and nestled in my cozy little nest I sat with two of my favourite people. Two ladies, sweet souls, I am so fortunate to call my best friends. Sitting on the floor in a circle we spoke about our dreams for the year ahead, our heartaches of the year past as we acknowledged the beautiful connection the three of us have, and our deep gratitude for each other. It was a very special evening with a few tears, a wood burning fire, a special bottle of delightful sparkling Pinot Noir and yes, of course there was a cheeseboard (we are at my house after all!)

Two thousand fifteen housed the death of my dear sweet Nan, while it also saw the split from a dear man who will always be my family. Proving to test my vitality, a recent move to new house marks new beginnings for me. My prayers have been answered and I find myself here, exactly where I am, where I need to be. I sit and write listening to the sounds of Half Moon Run, I am eating an orange. Typing this collection of words to the page, while I recall and reflect thinking to myself "who will actually read this?", well, probably no one :)

There are many incredible people that I am honoured to share this life with. They mean the world to me, and at some point i'll probably write about each one of these special humans individually. Today, I write about my father. My daddio, Jack. From whom, last night, I received the nicest and most meaningful letter I have ever had the pleasure of reading. It brought me to tears and I feel compelled to get it out of the abyss of the virtual gmail inbox and share it on my blog...apparently haha.

SOME WORDS FROM YOUR DADDY

My dearest Ashley,

Thank you so much for paying back the money I loaned you for your yoga course. I’m sure it feels good to have worked so hard, and to have paid off all your debt’s. It’s been a tough year for the family, and recently it’s been specially tough for you. My Mum, your Nan meant the World to all of us and I know that she loved you very deeply, and whenever I spoke with her would always ask how you were and what you were doing. I know she would have some words of wisdom to share with you now, knowing that you’re hurting so much inside. I know that when you think about her, pleasant memories will replace those feelings of sorrow and a smile will make your face shine. Take solace in the fact that she will always be with you, and you can draw on her strength to help you through whenever you need to. I’ve felt your pain and I know those emotions you are experiencing, it doesn’t make it any easier to bare, but take comfort in the fact that they will be replaced by hugs and smiles, warm moments and happiness.

You are my strength, you are my World you are my life’s greatest achievement. One thing I’ve learned in my life is that you never know where will take you.

Have a wonderful 2016 filled with smiles and laughter, love and good fortune

LoveDaddy

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Daddy...I am so grateful for you. 2015 has been one of the hardest, most beautiful years of my life. I leave behind much pain, grief, sorrow, heartache and I take with me the strength, compassion, love and gratitude that I have gained. I am truly lucky to live the life i do and I remind myself of it everyday. It is s a great honour to have the ability to feel and exist with a heart wide open to all of life's adventures...as challenging as they may be. The greatest challenges become the greatest teachings and I'm humbled every time another being asks me to share what I have learned. To help others find peace on their journey through this life is the sweetest thing.

So I go forth into this brand new year knowing that I will take care of myself and be my best me. I know Nan is proud and watches over us everyday. Losing her was one of the most powerful experiences of my life and it inspires me to live a life of love and happiness. You are right...you never know what tomorrow may bring...but i know that I'll always meet tomorrow with a genuine desire to be my best me...whatever that may look like.

Thank you for this message, it means more to me that you'll ever know. Our relationship is a treasure that has been discovered again and again. I can't wait for what tomorrow will bring.

I love you so much. Wishing you a new year of joy, health, happiness, love and that all of your hearts wishes come to life.

In love & lightness,

Ashley

I treasure these letters, I treasure my journey on this earth, I treasure myself and all beings. It is a crazy, wonderful, difficult, challenging, heartbreaking, insane, beautiful, wonderful, loving, remarkable life we lead as humans on this shared planet. We all are faced with the lessons our souls have called for, we must brave the unexpected and remain light in the process. It's not easy, but to gaze at the gift of waking up each day ready to face the world in whatever life may bring...that is an honour I am so deeply humbled to sit with.

To all that 2016 will bring for us all; I walk beside you,
Ashley.