Mother India you have been my teacher for almost 9 weeks.
This body has learned practice, presence, patience, humility with kindness & a soft heart.
I have have been afforded the opportunity to sit with negative thoughts, really sit with them. Watched the power of their presence and allow them to shift, to pass with time.
I have learned that time is a healing gift, that attachment breeds discontent, that I truly am strong and have a huge ability to connect with others.
I have learned that I want to dedicate my life to making others happy, easing burden and bringing joy into the lives of as many as I can.
I have learned that I am happy on my own.
I have learned how important my family is to me.
I have learned how to forgive those who have caused me pain, but more importantly myself when I was unaware of the deep hurt I was causing myself.
I have learned that I will aim to do more, be disciplined and think less. Serve by example.
I have learned about the importance of diplomacy.
Mother India, I have learned that I am excited to come back next year but how much I yearn for a break from your demands. I have learned I'd rather be a bit cold and put on a sweater instead of sweat my ass off, only to have a shower and still be sweating.
I have learned to be kind to myself with food. I have learned to appreciate white bread again.
I have learned my former psychology was not serving me. I have learned what it looks like to have a very good look at these realizations. I have learned practise. I have practiced. I have learned discipline. I practise discipline. I have learned lightness. I am light.
I have learned how important it is to manage my energy and make sure to direct enough of it inwardly to nourish and keep my heart in good repair. I have learned moderation is beautiful. I have learned to enjoy "little little", to practise "little little", and to take each day "little little" at a time.
This trip has been a gift. It has changed me. I have shifted. So it is back to Canada I walk with a firmer step. One foot at a time...with cut, blistered, broken feet that can best be described as "all fucked up".
I sat. I walked. I ate. I observed. I ran. I got angry. I cried. I fell. I puked. I drank. I swam. I sang. I danced. I laughed. I prayed. I learned.
It's fascinating, it's overwhelming. It's broken me down. It challenged me in unbelievable ways. I was very sad, angry, and slightly bruised when I arrived. My heart was called to this incredible country yearning for balance, for change and for a chance at a fresh perspective.
India supported me when I needed to break apart even more so that I could pick up the pieces and put myself back together with stronger bonds of love.
I have learned that loneliness and solitude are completely different.
Traveling alone, waking up in a new place completely unfamiliar to me. The scary excitement. The thrill. These feelings that push me to come alive in new ways. I am blessed to have had this experience. I am so incredibly grateful.
Right before India, I cancelled a trip to Peru, didn't make it to see friends in California, I left my job and locked the door to my house. I booked a flight and did not look back.
India, you were the only thing that made sense. It was the only way.
I have learned that cows and horses are free to roam the streets here.
I have learned there are more tea stalls than Starbucks, more people than tea stalls and a scary amount of garbage that collects on even the cleanest of city streets.
I have learned to see beauty in the darkness, navigate crowded city streets with grace and appreciate the most frustrating days with horns honking, squished car rides and uncomfortable bouncing buses.
Life is so different in the east. Life is intense. People are loud and aggressive bread from survival. People here are so unbelievably generous.
I'm in aw of everyone with kind eyes, a gummy sweet smile with sometimes rotting teeth. Kindness radiates in this crazy country.
For in the midst of dirt, heat, adversity and chaos they "keep smile". This sentiment resonates, soothes and uplifts even the most dampened spirits.
It's hot and dirty, dusty and magical. Life is not easy here, and yet things are simple. People are not obsessed with the unnecessary. Perhaps out of necessity. They care for family, do their part and perform everyday rituals that keep their lives rooted in something bigger than the self.
I have learned we are here to serve each other. We are here to be happy. We are here to share our unique gifts with each other. To smile at one another. To support. To help ease burden, pain, sadness and sorrow of our fellow humans. We are here be the best versions of ourselves. To connect with others. To protect our earth. To enjoy our lives.
We all share this earth. We belong to each other.
This journey is the beginning of a new chapter in life...I couldn't be more ready. Thank you India. I bring home with me a smile. I am humbled, honoured, and pretty much always hungry - because I'm pretty sure I also brought home a stomach parasite :)
Tis' only the beginning.
A
