the Indian post office experience...part two: fed ex.

a low moment in the Darj.

Ugh. why is it such a mission to send post in this country. So after my stressful 5 hour post office experience in Trevandrum I vowed i was not going to send post again from India.

Well.....i've just completed a relatively quicker, more stressful and most definitely more expensive fed ex experience in Darjeeling.

I am exhausted, hungry, shaky. I'm not sure why shipping is such an intense experience, but it requires every ounce of my being to keep collected while enduring this process.

Maybe it's the manhandling of my carefully selected and packed items. Zero mindfulness. And don't even get me started about the excessive amount of packing tape used in what can only be called a "packaging performance" haha.

I've just returned to the town after a trek through the gorgeous Himalayas and I think my nervous system is just doing a little adjustment. Not to mention I am definitely PMSing to ad insult to injury. 

A little peanut butter and toast, some Bedouin Soundclash on the iphone....a sit down at good old Glenary's and i'll be back in action shortly.

#india.

Ashley & the Indian Post Office Experience...part one.

Post office arrival about 11am.

Wait in line to get good packed up (mandatory for customs inspection)

Get to front of line. No boxes that will fit all my stuff. (no boxes at all really!)

12:15pm am directed to go across the street to the paint place and they will give me a box.

12:25pm back in line (the box retrieval was unspeakably quick.) 

12:30 sweet indian man starts packing up my box

1:30 after a few "back in 5 minutes" sweet indian man completes package (using way more tape, string and exacto knife maneuvers than necessary...but perhaps it's necessary for the one month transit period of said box)

1:40ish sweet indian box packer friend directs me over to a window and points to a sign signalling me to write certain words on the custom papers i have previously filled out. I need another form. Apparently he couldn't have told me this an hour ago.

1:50 Waiting at window for attendant to help.

2pm still waiting. My package is now brought over to where I am waiting.

2:10 Things are looking good and a new man sits down to enter all the information into their computer system. Bad news, it's going to cost 5800 rupees which i don't have in cash.

2:20 Phoebes guards the package and I run to the bank

2:27 back from the bank. New information entering man has vanished.

2:30 i causally joke that he probably went to lunch. This is exactly what he has done.

2:45 move to next counter and wait for new lady to start the process over.

2:55 get swarmed by people in line behind me pushing their hands through the window which i'm clearly standing in front of

3pm try to take up more space and fend off the inpatient customers behind me.

3:20 - can't believe that it's over. 

3:21 - thinking to myself that after all that i might never see that package again. 

kickin' it in Darj.

Arriving in Darjeeling India about a week ago, did I know then how this incredibly magical place would lift my spirits as it has? I'd like to think yes, but nothing prepares one for what it is like to hike in the himalayas for the first time.

I came here to trek. To walk in the hills like people have for centuries and centuries. To be deep in nature, both the external and my inner world. 

Following my senses as per this adventure I settled in Darj town for a few days, explored, met some locals, had delicious meals, got incredibly sick; all the while keeping my ears open for a crew of trekking mates I could team up with. After laying in bed the entire day recovering from a heavy dose of food poisoning I ventured out for about an hour, to get some fresh air and check my email from a quaint little cafe called Glenary's.

Overhearing a guy two tables away speak to some locals about "trek" and "five days" my senses were alerted. Yup, i needed to talk to this dashing looking man. As he was leaving I had also just packed up my belongings and we met as we were both walking out. "Hi i'm sorry to bother you, but I heard you talking about trekking and I just wanted to ask you about it"

"I'm Will" he says to me with a smile.

And the rest is history. We walked to meet his friends (funnily enough at the same trekking agency that I'd been inquiring at) and I loved them immediately. Three dudes from the states...we were all about the same age, and all equally as excited for the days ahead. 

I actually didn't commit right away...it took me a little contemplation time (the idea of leaving in the morning and packing up all my stuff that night after not sleeping at all the night before wasn't exactly sitting well with me....) but it just felt right and I knew this was it.

We left things as "maybe i'll see you in the morning or maybe I won't".

I found out later they had given me about a 30% chance of committing. Ha! 

Well I ran into them at the bank about half an hour later and proved them all wrong.

So I packed up, got a good night's sleep, and met the team the next morning. 

Will, Gabe, Sandeep, Ram (our guide) and I were off to the mountains.

sitting in discomfort.

Sitting with the many discomforts of my own mind has been a blessing and more importantly, a huge challenge. Scooping myself up and getting on a plane to India was pivotal in my life, in my evolution. There have been so many moments of discomfort while travelling. Going through the waves of panchkarma treatment, being hot, vulnerable and alone in Kolkata, getting extremely sick in Darjeeling - these instances when I reflect on them, were only glimpses of the journey. At the time, they of course carried a heavier burden, but for me, they have all been incredible gifts. Laying here alone in my bed in the mountains of India I think back to the nature of my mind Before I left on this trip. It's tendencies, the balance it sought.

I'm here now. I've come face to face with these intense difficulties to push me. To break me right down, collect myself and raise myself above where i sat before.

Reflecting on the challenge of being alone and uncomfortable, the first place my mind goes to is the thought of going home. Of course being in a familiar safe place is bound to ease the wave for a moment or for a few days. But then I'd be right back where I was. Sitting with myself, really just here with no where to go, no delicious snacks to eat, no Facebook or YouTube to distract me, but just right here. What does my mind do? First I calm my body, I do a little meditation to increase my vibration. To lift me from the darkness of despair and out of uncomfortable places. And then I contemplate the thoughts, lightly without judgement. I notice my tendencies to want to distract myself. I also notice parts of my mind jump to immediately wanting to tell someone, announce my discomfort...do I believe this will make it more real? I don't know. But what I do know is I have learned to take space from my own nature. From the discomfort. Create space between the thought and the impulse action of the lower mind. I've read about these concepts for years, seen them in practice in mere glimpses of my life. What India has taught me is to be in my practice. That each moment is precious and deserves/demands love attention and respect from the higher Self. This will be a constant challenge. I will still sometimes wish I took more space and time, showed myself more love. But in these moments when I can meet myself with the softness I deserve, to know that I'm still human, and well, it's okay not to be okay. That's the practice. I hold myself with love tonight and carry ease in my heart. 

Namaste & Bon soir.

Ashley 

Solo Travel; thoughts from the train.

I try to fly under the radar the best I can when I travel. Sporting a relatively ugly hat, local dress, no makeup and sunglasses, none the less there is still no mistaking my white skin. The look of a woman who is like a fish out of water but also equally at home in her element of travel and adventure.

When I travel I love to get to the heart of the community. Imagine what it would be like to live there, act less like a tourist and (when appropriate) aim to integrate into the rhythms of daily life, feel the flow and contribute positively to people's lives and way of life.

The past five weeks in India have been incredibly amazing, they have been equally as challenging. I have pushed myself and been pushed far beyond the boundaries of comfort. I have faced my mind head on, my self imposed fears and mind's nature. I have also been grateful to recognize when very real circumstantial fear has forced me to step up to the plate and pushed me to expand.

Traveling alone is hard. It is unfamiliar and familiar. It is extreme highs and heavy lows. It's hot, dirty, wonderful and humbling. I feel very fortunate to be on this journey and I am thankful for the love and support that surrounds me; near and far

April 7th 12:15am

Indian princess down.

Travelling alone is incredibly rewarding. But when you get sick it's a huge test of will. I was awoken in the night; tummy churning, head pounding, and I just threw up (in my ghetto little Indian toilet).

All signs point to "Delhi belly". Damn you vegetarian noodle soup.

I have been lucky and wonderfully healthy for over 6 weeks. No issues with the food. Haven't been sick! The trend has now been broken. And it's rough.

Sitting up in my bed, wrapped in a blanket...I've reached a low point. I'm not well.

There have most certainly been times I've wanted to go home this trip, this moment is at the top of that list. 

I'm really down. I want the comfort of home and the people I love. I just ate an entire pack of tums.

Also, a massive spider just crawled up my wall near the door. Ugh. This too shall pass. 

India:1, Ashley:0

shaken. in Kolkata.

I feel very fortunate to have been born and raised in Canada. Over the past 32 years I have also been afforded the privilege of travel. Toronto, being an already extremely multicultural hub I was exposed to a lot from a young age. I feel like there is nothing that can quite prepare the senses for what I experienced in Kolkata, India. My bones were shaken in this foreign land. There are over 14 million people living in the greater Kolkata area (4.5 of them in the core) and that is very apparent when you see most of them flooding the streets going about their daily business.

Culture shock is an understatement. I've travelled a lot. Lived in Guatemala, El Salvador, California, Switzerland & Greece, backpacked through 13 countries in Europe, cruised the island nations of the Caribbean; even ventured across Canada by train. I have experienced and been exposed to a lot. Kolkata shook me. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen with my own eyes, felt with my senses and tuned into with my heart. It was dirty, busy, hot, chaotic, and as a solo female traveler, extremely uncomfortable at times. Don't get me wrong, there is so much richness to this city in terms of Indian culture. It was once the hub of the British empire in India housing many foreign nationals, the East Indian Trading company was practically born here. It is the only place in Asia with a functioning tram system, the only Indian city that provides rickshaw service by foot and is home to the oldest zoo in the country. There is much to see and appreciate. I saw it. I ventured around by bus, taxi and foot to soak up the most I possibly could in 2 days. But within this cultural Mecca is the despair of an Indian society in shambles. Corruption lures deep into the social wave. Locals told me that everyone is hustling with someone. This doesn't surprise me, also, does not sit well with me. Everyone is on the streets here. More than half of the people I observed with shoes and teeth missing. In the already unhygienic meal preparation on the streets there were even some grabbing scraps off the ground, shitting on the streets and looking up at me with desperate eyes and hands outstretched. It is way of life for them, and a shocking reality to witness. I've always heard about how crowded India is, and all the stereotypes that go along with it. It was a fusion of the reality I had imagined in my head and a clearly painted picture that came to life in front of my eyes. Even the most creative mind couldn't possibly dream up the intensity that is this place.